Aviary Photo_131412730520612035
Photo Credit: Sue Hardin

Divorce is one of the most common phenomenons that happens in the military. Service members are asked to spend ungodly amounts of time away from there family’s and willfully no questions asked. Most often then not they return changed and not quite the same as when they left, finding very hard to adjust back into their normal routines. So was the case for my wife and I and now we are a statistic. 22 service members commit suicide everyday that was another statistic I almost became apart of.

I can’t remember the last anniversary I was home,
I can barely remember celebrating any birthdays yours or mine,
But I remember pulling the trigger,
I remember pulling that fucking trigger,

I can’t remember the last time I called home,
I can’t even remember the last time I said that I loved you,
But I can remember his little hand tugging at my uniform,
I can remember holding his tiny hands firmly until he passed,

I can’t even remember the last time we talked like adults,
I can’t remember the last time we went without arguing,
But I can remember my friends face as he cried for help,
I can remember arguing and pleading to let me die with him so he didn’t die alone

I can’t remember the last time we did anything happy together,
I can barely remember if I was even there when you needed me most, if at all,
But I can remember the blast and the 21 gun salute as a result,
I can remember being there when they needed me most,

I can’t Remember the last time I held you,
I can barely remember the last time I showed any true emotion,
But I can remember every time you called me stupid, asshole, bitch, cheater, less than a man, I did not disagree, I believed,

I can remember the day you kicked me out of the house,
I can remember the day I believed I could fly,
Now I remember to breathe,
And remember to take things one day at a time.

If you need someone to talk to please call someone you can trust or contact the nearest doctor. If you are in the military please my friends we are losing far to many please call someone we all care about one another. I love you all. Be good to yourself.





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